All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
