I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
