Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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