I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
