Cold hands, warm shart.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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