Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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