Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
