Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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