I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
