She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
