I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
