Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
