My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
how drunk are you?
Several
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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