apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
