When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
