and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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