I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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