what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
