I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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