i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
