I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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