i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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