saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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