Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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