To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize