Already got asked if we're dating
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
