So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
