He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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