Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
