Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
