I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
