Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Mom said you looked used
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
