sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
