It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
