I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
