ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
ttyl tear gas
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
