Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
