Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
