i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
