You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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