i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
