so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
This toilet bowl is my home.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
