You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
