The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
