Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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