I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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