so explain again why im purple
no
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
