You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
