just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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