if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
