He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
