dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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