Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
