You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
