why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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