Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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